Halloween Ball
by KharBevNor
Summary: The other knights invite Integra to a Halloween ball...unfortunately for them, she's allowed guests. It's going to be a night to remember...(COMPLETE)
1. Preparations

Disclaimer: Dude! I don't, like, own Hellsing dude! Don't own Capri-sun either. Dude I suck!

A/N: just a little something to clear writers block. Integra's honours are all real except for the KRT, by the way: a KCMG is a Knight Commander of the Order of Saint Michael and Saint George (an honour given to senior administrative officials), a CBE is a Commander of the British Empire. (KRT stands for 'Knight of the Round Table')

            Sir Integra Wingates Fairbrook Hellsing, (KCMG, CBE, KRT) 

            You are cordially invited to a Halloween ball at my country residence, Easterbrook hall, on the night of the 31st. You may bring one guest, as well as a partner. Your guest may also bring a partner. Tasteful fancy dress is expected, indeed required. I do hope to see you there, Sir Integra, though I know you scarcely attend social gatherings of this type. However, all the other knights will be there, and it would be nice to gather a 'full house' as it were. I also understand that several of the knights will be bringing their sons as guests, so maybe this would be a good time to find a suitable husband, since the question of your succession can surely not be left in doubt much longer. I hope this letter finds you well, and eagerly await your response.

            Your honourable and learned friend

                        Sir Joshua David Thackeray (KCMG, CBE, KRT, PhD)

            Integra's eyes narrowed as she read down the letter, creasing into thin lines of pure fury as she finished it.

            "The arrogance!" She exclaimed loudly, scrunching the letter into her ashtray and following it with the forcefully ground stump of her cigarillo. "The damned arrogance! A suitable husband indeed?" She spat on the smouldering paper. "Bah!" Those stupid chauvinistic old dullards. The idea she would hit off with one of their inbred offspring was frankly ludicrous. She couldn't believe they would even think such a thing. She wouldn't go of course…but no, that would just re-enforce their opinion of her. They all expected her not to go…so, she must do the unexpected and attend. But…she shivered at the thought, a whole evening, wasted to polite conversation, pointless etiquette and trying to find yet more elaborate ways to put down the simpering young whelps yapping at her heels. She cursed lightly to herself. Damn, this wasn't going to be any fun at all…Hellsing could go without a leader for a night, it had before, but she'd rather she did _something_ with that time, rather than fruitlessly squander it.

            Suddenly, a thought came over her. She reached out and grabbed the smouldering, crumpled piece of paper, folding it out and smoothing it, smearing ashes and spit onto the fingers of her impeccable white gloves. She read the relevant part, thankful her cigarillo had not burnt through it. A partner, a guest, and a partner for the guest, eh? Fancy dress? Oh yes…oh yes! And this was the knights ball…no-one below level four clearance could possibly be there, probably no-one below five or even six.

            And you were allowed to know at level three.

            A smirk slowly spread across her face as she lit another cigarillo. She leaned back and jabbed the button on her desk that called Walter. Planning was in order.

            "Are you ready yet, Miss Victoria?"

            "Oh, Walter, I look utterly ridiculous…"

            "Come on out, Officer Victoria." Said Integra, slightly harshly. "I want to see that all that money wasn't mis-spent."

            "Oh, very well then…"

            The door to Seras' room opened slowly, to reveal the young vampire standing there, her cheeks ever so tinged with a flush of life indicative of extreme embarrassment. She was dressed in a long blood red dress in the late Victorian style, with a tight black Basque, black lace petticoats, black gloves and black ball shoes. Her normally wild and unruly hair had been brutally straightened, a feat in itself, and fell loosely to her shoulders, some extending down her back to the level of her shoulder blades. Her naturally pale skin made major make-up unnecessary, and she wore only two thin lines of scarlet lipstick and some light eyeshadow, which enhanced the brightness of her crimson eyes.

            "I look like the bride of Dracula…" she moaned.

            "Then it seems Masters money was not ill spent."

            Seras looked up at the familiar voice, then let out a low groan and slumped against the doorway. Alucard was dressed in an immaculate nineteenth century nobleman's suit, a sharper version of his normal attire, complete with pocket-watch and neatly folded handkerchief. His head was bare, and he seemed to have willed his hair back to a shorter, slicked down length that covered the top of his head and gave him a distinguished sort of air that his usual unkempt appearance lacked. The most arresting feature of his costume, however, was a long black cape with a red silk lining and a high, bat-wing collar.

            "Oh no…" murmured Seras, "Someone staked me whilst I slept and I'm in hell…"

            "Wishful thinking, Police girl," Said Alucard, giving her his standard feral grin, "You're very much alive…or at least less dead than most are so long after their demise."

            "Oh why me…?" moaned Seras, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Why me…?"

            "Oh come on Police girl!" Said Alucard, moving up next to her and pushing her chin back with one white-gloved gloved hand, looking her in the eyes with the slightly manic expression more normally associated with amphetamine addicts, "Show some enthusiasm! Your first ball…why, a hundred years ago girls your age would have killed for such a chance!"

            Seras groaned again. "Oh do lighten up! It will be fun…I haven't had a chance to scare a group of smug self-satisfied mortals in so long…and this will be your first time, Police Girl! Now…you must remember you are a Nosferatu, my child."

            "But I…" She wanted to say how using her freakishness to scare people out of their skins was not her idea of fun, but she couldn't speak against Alucard…the will to obey was too strong. 

            "Yes…master."

            "Now Alucard, Seras." Said Integra, "I want your best performances, especially you Officer Victoria. No joviality, no cheerfulness, no pleasantries. I want you both to be the perfect image of arrogant vampiric evil. Your task is to make the rest of the knights regret the very concept of a Halloween ball and make any young runt who comes after me wet himself in fear. Have you got that?"

            "Yes Master!" Said Alucard, his eyes alight with sick enjoyment.

            "I suppose…" Seras trailed off.

            "I want to see your teeth, Officer Victoria!"

            Seras sighed and tucked her lower lip in slightly so the tips of her fangs poked out.

Integra held her head to the side slightly, appraising the affect this produced. "Actually, no. You look like a constipated kitten. Put them away again."

            Seras indignantly retracted her fangs and scowled at her commanding officer.

            "That's good." Said Integra, nodding. "Now, make your eyes go slitty." Seras curled her lip slightly then concentrated hard on a spot somewhere around the middle of  her forehead. She could almost feel her pupils shrinking. It was one of the few vampiric abilities she was comfortable with in any way.

            "Good." Said Integra. "Keep that. Now, I want the two of you to grab a couple of pints of blood each whilst I and Walter change into costume." With that Integral turned and headed up the dungeon steps, followed by her loyal retainer.

            "What are they going as, master?" Asked Seras, turning slightly to the elder vampire, who was testing the sharpness of his fangs.

            "I believe that master plans to dress Walter as her ancestor Van Helsing, and herself as the unfortunate Miss Harker, whom I once so nearly had as my fledgling…"

            "Master, I've been meaning to ask, about that book…"

            "Dracula? Oh, Van Helsing had it written by Stoker in order to discredit everyone else on my trail."

            "How…"

            "When Dracula was written I became a fictional monster," Said Alucard, grinning, "Not only that, but a dead fictional monster. No self-respecting scientist in the world was after my trail once that disgusting little piece of fiction hit the shelves." The nosferatu grinned. "It is nice to be famous though."

            He lead her along the corridor and up the stairs to a small room off the back of the kitchen were two ice buckets had been laid out. Seras cautiously opened one and took out the blood packet inside it, and began pouring it into a bowl. Alucard simply picked up his and began to suck it through the tab like a Capri-sun.

            Seras had a few spoonfuls before she started talking again. "Why are we getting an extra meal, anyway?"

            "You'll need all the energy you can get for our big entrance."

            Seras lowered her spoon slowly.

            "Big…entrance?"

            "But of course? You didn't think master would have us just walk in, eh? She's going for maximum effect."

            "But then, how are we going to get in…"

            "We're going to fly, of course."

            Seras spoon rattled as it dropped into the bowl.

            "Oh master!" She pleaded "Not bats, please not bats. Anything but bats…well, except insects…"

            Seras had not had good experiences with using her power to transform into bats. At first she had not been able to do it. It had taken Alucard coming out the mirror as she was cleaning her teeth the first time. She had screamed then come apart into a swarm of small blonde bats that flapped about wildly before all finding perches in various parts of Seras' small bathroom. It was then that, through her wildly fragmented but strangely non-confusing vision, Seras had realised that she had left her towel lying on the floor. According to Alucard, the site of hundreds of little bats covering their groins and chests with their wings and cowering had been most hilarious. Once done once, of course, it was easier, though she kept having problems with the clothes, not to mention the act of putting her body itself back together. It was surprisingly easy to get a hand on back-to front, and then she would have to transform back, and try again. And as for the clothes…there were several embarrassing moments. She was now just about confident changing and changing back, but she got tremendously disoriented when she flew, and kept dropping to the ground in a fluffy rain, squealing, whenever a particularly loud noise hit her heightened bat hearing.

            "Don't worry, police girl, all you need to do is follow my lead…"

            "But, what if I come out with the costume wrong…I've never done it in a dress before…"

            "I doubt it's much different, police girl. Now, drink up, we have a long night ahead of us."

            "Oh goodie…" murmured Seras between spoonfuls of blood, "nothing like a quiet party, is there?"

            Alucard grinned maniacally and tore the top from another blood packet.

            "There's been nothing like this one before."

            He took a long slurp.

            "I will make sure of it." He said, licking a droplet of blood from his lips.

A/N: To Be Continued, of course…


	2. At the Ball

A/N: Finally, part 2…

            "Ah, Sir Integra, so good to see you…an interesting choice of characters I must say."

            "Well," Said Integra, smiling only slightly, "We thought my manservant wouldn't be as convincing a Mina Harker as me…something to do with a combination of his age, height and gender…it doesn't quite add up."

            Sir Thackeray laughed. It sounded like a horse with a smoker's cough. "And, er, where are your guests?"

            "Oh, they're coming. They'll be here any minute now."

            "Oh excellent," Said Thackeray's smug looking wife, "What are their costumes?"

            "Dracula and his bride" 

            "Splendid! Who are these people, do we know them?"  
            "I very much doubt it, lady Thackeray…let's just put it like this, Joshua." She turned to Lord Thackeray, "They aren't wearing fake fangs."

            Sir Thackeray's glass hit the floor and shattered. "You…haven't…" He spluttered slightly. Several others turned round to observe the knight's behaviour, wondering what had happened.

            "There's no-one here at any clearance level lower than three, is there?" Said Integra loudly. There was no response.

            "Excellent." She said, "Then you can look up without me having to shoot you."

            Sir Thackeray's residence was of Edwardian design, and one of its main features was the glass roofed ballroom. Tonight, it gave an excellent view of a surprisingly clear night sky. A waxing moon shone bright…then began to gutter like a candle as a tattered black cloud moved across it. The cloud twisted in mid-air, curving round to curl round the house. There was a general impression of wings and dots of glowing red.

            "What the hell…" said someone, who obviously had never received the lecture. Integra's face creased into a smile. This was indeed going to be as fun as she had imagined.

            The swarm of bats swirled round to the front of the house. There was a moments silence, then a long, drawn-out scream. Then silence again. This silence had slipped only to the most low-key of whispers twenty seconds later when the footman walked in. The man's eyes were wide and blank, as if he was sleepwalking. He was holding a piece of paper in one hand, and raised it slowly as he announced the new guests in a dreamlike voice.

            "Presenting the guest of Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing, Prince Vlad III Dracula Tepes of Walachia and his adopted daughter Junior Lieutenant Seras Victoria (deceased)"

            Integra smiled. Those too dense or too ignorant of central European history or the vampire mythos to pick up on Alucard's real name would have been banged wide awake by Seras 'deceased' tag. All eyes were on the door as the pair entered.

            Such an entrance truly deserved a performance of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor to accompany it. Either Alucard had been coaching Seras or he was simply taking over her mind. But the whole thing was perfect. They had the walk, the posture, the expression. Just the right mix of arrogance, aloofness, mystery and sheer evil. Seras wore a slight grin, just enough to show one fang, and hooded eyes over her red irises. Alucard was, for want of a better word, smirking. The effect of the long cloak and dress was to add another good foot to the height of each. Shadows seemed to cluster around them. There was utter, total silence as they walked through the room. If jaws did indeed drop and eyes did indeed pop out of sockets, then the room would have been knee-deep in mandibles and eyeballs.

            The two stopped in front of Sir Thackeray. Alucard bowed low, and Seras pulled off a perfect curtsey, adding weight to the idea that Alucard was probably just mindslaving her.

            "Sir Thackeray." Said Alucard, extending a gloved hand, "Delighted to make your acquaintance. I knew your grandfather, I think…a most tiresome man."

            Thackeray, who was under no illusions as to who and what Alucard was. Looked at him in blank horror for a few seconds before releasing that this was _not_ the kind of person one was impolite to. Ever. He extended a shaking hand. Alucard grasped it rather too firmly, eliciting a slight gasp from the knight, then released it. Then he turned to Seras, who, for totally different reasons, grasped his hand too firmly and shook it enthusiastically, grinning wider. Unfortunately this attempt at friendliness made her resemble a shark that had just eaten a particularly large amount of baby seals. Integra frowned all the same. She had ordered zero joviality. Seras was the only member of the living dead she had ever met who could manage to be inexplicably cute. It worried Integra somewhat. Bloodsucking monsters were, in her opinion, not supposed to have eyes quite that big, or a mouth quite that small, or a way of looking at you that made you feel like you had just kicked a small puppy. Of course she was under no illusions, she had seen what Seras left behind after hand-to-hand combat, but…damn that girl! She was the most incompetent vampire ever. Alucard was perfection, in the Nosferatu sense. Handsome, arrogant, cruel, leering, sarcastic and of immense physical presence, he was perfectly intimidating. Seras, quite frankly, had work to do.

            "Erm…Walachia?" Said Thackeray in a stuttering and wildly misguided attempt to exchange pleasantries.

            "It's in modern day Romania," said Alucard. "The part known nowadays as…**Transylvania**!" Integra felt the urge to clap. She had no idea that vampires could add an echo effect to their voice. Thackeray stepped back awkwardly. Seras began mumbling an apology for her masters behaviour. Integra clamped a firm hand on her shoulder and leaned in to her ear whilst everyone was looking at Alucard, who had started leaning forward slightly, forcing Thackeray to lean backwards.

            "No niceness, Officer Victoria."

            "Sorry…" She said.

            "No! Not 'sorry', try 'What gives you the right to order my actions, pathetic mortal!'"

            Seras turned slightly.

            "What gives you the right to order _my_ actions, pathetic mortal?"

            Integra grinned ever so slightly.

            "That's the idea."

            She turned back to Sir Thackeray.

            "I know it's not normal to invite ones pets to a fancy dress ball, but I have never been noted for my strict adherence to cultural norms." She smiled sweetly. "You may tell your musicians to start playing again, Joshua…"

            Seras turned from the grinning vampire lord and the shell-shocked knight and surveyed the room. Everyone was, of course, staring at them, but they averted their eyes when she looked at them. This was…horrible. She wanted to crawl into a corner and die, again, from embarrassment. 

            No, she reminded herself. Strength! She couldn't show up Sir Integra and the Hellsing in front of all these people.

            She was going to have to be evil.

            She gulped. Oh dear.

            Right, evil, evil, evil…She tried to think back to every film she'd ever watched. In movies like James Bond, she remembered, the evil women always had a drink…so her first course of action must be to get a drink! Besides, it would comfort her, make her feel a teeny bit human, even if she couldn't get drunk. 

            She walked purposely over to a cocktail waiter, who was staring fearfully at her. She stopped in front of him. He did nothing, merely stood shaking. This was a ridiculous. She looked at the various drinks on his tray. There were several different kinds…she tried to think of an impolite way of asking what was what. Whilst doing this, she let out a polite cough to break the silence, causing the waiter to jump, sending glasses shattering to the floor.

            She caught herself beginning to bend to help clean up the mess before she remembered, and she rocked slightly as she went bolt-upright again.

            "Pathetic human." She said, In what she imagined was a stern voice, but was instead more motherly. Then she turned and headed for the next cocktail waiter, who wet himself when she was ten feet away, and ran from the room, leaving another tray of shattered glasses.

            "That…monster is attacking my staff!" spluttered Sir Thackeray to Integra as Seras took a deep breath and advanced on the next waiter.

            "Nonsense, Joshua. She's merely trying to procure a drink."

            "Vampires don't drink drinks, they drink people!"

            "Most untrue." Said Alucard, turning away from his task of seeing how many people he could make leave the room by grinning at them. "Vampires can imbibe any liquid, though we cannot be chemically affected by them. Why, I regularly enjoy a good bottle of wine…"

            So that's where it had been going, thought Integra. She was posting gaurds with silver ammunition on the wine cellar when she got back.

            "…and even developed a taste for that herbal drink they brought over from the colonies at the beginning of last century…what is it they call it Walter?"

            "Coca-Cola, Alucard." Said Walter, in the exasperated tone of someone who has imparted the same piece of information many times before and knows he will do it many times again.

            "That's it! Marvellous stuff, though it tasted far better before they removed the cocaine. I've tried mixing some in, but it's not the same."

            Seras had finally managed to secure a stationary and stable cocktail waiter, albeit one whose eyes were shut tight, and was choosing her drink by the time honoured 'Ip-Dip-Battleship' method.

            _Get me a Screwdriver._ He called telepathically to Seras.

            _Which one is that, Master?_

            _The orange one._

_            Oooooooh…_ She whined, causing Alucard to wince slightly, _I wanted that one…_

            _Have a different one, that's an order police girl._

            _Does sir Integra want anything?_

_            She's having _far_ too much fun to want to miss any of it by being even a little drunk._

Seras carefully reached for the two drinks, aware her strength could easily crush the tall thin glasses if she applied too much pressure. She was like a golden retriever, carrying an egg in her hand. The image pleased her.

            She picked up the two drinks. The waiter instantly collapsed, falling limply to the floor, the rest of his drinks tumbling around him. Seras rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, then turned and walked back towards sir Integra and Alucard, the crowd parting before her. She handed her master his drink, and he nodded and gave her a little smile, which made her feel all woozy inside…

            Snap out of it Seras! She told herself sternly. He's only teasing you. She looked at her master, then Sir Integra, and back again, then gave an indignant humph and started drinking her beverage, which tasted thoroughly revolting, though she finished it anyway.

            Integra felt like beaming again as she saw Seras' scowling face, red eyes narrowed and full of feral anger. She looked about ready to kill, perfect. Extra blood for her tomorrow, if she kept this up.

            "And now, I shall dance." Announced Integra. A petrified looking young man who had been hanging around a few feet from the group quickly moved forward towards Sir Integra. He began to say something. Suddenly Alucard's drink had disappeared and he had crossed the space between himself and sir Integra in an eyeblink, placing the daunting sweep of his caped body between her and the young man.

            "May I take your hand for this dance, Master?" He asked. 

            Integra smirked and swept off with him, leaving the young man stumbling to a halt, right in front of Seras. She smiled sweetly at him. His eyes grew wide.

            He looked left and right, panicky…"Erm…" Breeding took over, he couldn't be left standing here…"Would you…like to…dance?" he asked awkwardly.

            "Ok!" She said slightly too eagerly, then more coldly, "Er, yes…mortal"

            She took one hand firmly, then the other, and began to go through the steps of the dance. She could feel him shudder as he felt the cold skin of her hands, and then they were twirling away. Surprisingly, Seras found herself rather more proficient than she remembered from the last police ball she had ever attended. Even in the unfamiliar long dress. She found herself moving faster with the music, a lively tango. The young man looked utterly terrified.

            Integra caught a glimpse of Seras dancing, then looked up at Alucard. She noticed his sick little grin, and guessed who might be helping to guide the young vampiress' feet.

            The tango, picked up, and Seras tried more complex moves, as she had seen in films. To her great delight she could pull them all off perfectly, though she did find herself assuming the male part, as she flung her almost gibbering dance partner around like a ragdoll. As the song ended, Seras leant forward and kissed him lightly on the lips and stood him up. He turned and immediately ran from the room, muttering something.

            "What did I do wrong?" She asked, half-meekly, as she stepped next to her master. 

            "Your saliva is mostly blood, police girl." He said smirking. "Most humans do not find the taste pleasant…fools." He muttered the last part under his breath.

            "Oh yes…" She murmured…"hadn't thought of that…"

            "Oh well, I'm sure you've caused no major lasting psychological damage…" added Sir Integra, sidling up. 

            "Oooh, I hope not…"

            "Don't slip into niceness, Officer Victoria…I think I see another one coming…"

            Seras fell forward onto her coffin-bed with a groan. Her dress was crumpled underneath her, but she didn't care. What a night! Sir Integra had skilfully managed to manipulate no less than five young men into dancing with her by various means, and her mind ran through the reactions of each one. Was she really such a monster. She sat back up and began removing her complicated dress. Leaving it crumpled on the floor she walked over to her wardrobe and pulled on some comfortable jeans and a sweater. Already feeling a lot better, she clicked on the radio for some mellow late-night easy listening. Than she sat down in her chair and sighed. She really wasn't cut out for this. Every other vampire she'd ever met, except perhaps Helena,  had revelled in being, well, demons. They drank blood and killed and made love with reckless abandon, whilst she…

She just wanted to be happy. Was that so much to ask?

Oh well, it had been an experience. And at least she'd never have to meet any of those people again, it was a shame, they all seemed so respectable…

"Damn inbreeds!" Cursed Integra, lighting a cigar with her huge desk lighter. "Curse them thrice, Walter!"

"Indeed, Sir Integra, indeed. Shall I fill out the usual reply?"

"…no." the knight took a speculative puff. "...actually…is there any sort of theme?"

"Erm, black and white, it would seem…"

            "Black…black…Walter, do we still have that thing my father locked Alucard in the dungeons in?"  
            "The leather outfit, Sir Integra? I believe Alucard has it…"

            "Yes. Have him conjure it back up in whatever  mysterious way he clothes himself, and get a nurses outfit made up for Officer Victoria. And I'll need a suit in black with a white tie."

            She held the Christmas invitation in one hand and flicked it. Some lessons had to be taught twice, it would seem…


End file.
